You be the judge: should my girlfriend stop insisting we queue for hours at concerts?

Illustration: Igor Bastidas/The GuardianView image in fullscreen Illustration: Igor Bastidas/The GuardianYou be the judgeLife and styleYou be the judge: should my girlfriend stop insisting we queue for hours at concerts?

Fay likes to get a good spot and watch the support acts, but Odysseus would rather rock up for the main band. Who is hitting a false note? You decide

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Interviews by Georgina LawtonThu 23 Jul 2026 09.00 CESTLast modified on Thu 23 Jul 2026 16.48 CESTSharePrefer the Guardian on GoogleThe prosecution: Odysseus

double quotation markFay likes to be on the front row but I think it’s overrated

Fay and I love going to concerts – we probably go to five a year together. Fay likes to get there as early as possible, ideally before the venue opens so we can queue up. When the doors open, she wants to rush in and get the best spot, preferably in the front row.

I just want to arrive for the main act. If there are three or four support acts, I don’t think it’s necessary to watch all of them. If we have to get there before the main act, I’d like to arrive right before the main support. That way we can enjoy the concert and still feel fresh, not having waited for hours beforehand. If we do that, we usually still get a good spot.

I enjoy heavy metal concerts with smaller crowds, and no one gets there early as there’s no need. People push and mosh out. Usually, the mainstream bands, which I think are lower quality, have bigger audiences. We went to see Coldplay in Austria last year and we had to queue in the sun. Inside, we waited three hours for them to come on. By then I was exhausted.

Fay is short, so she wants to get a good spot so she can see. But I’ve said she can go on my shoulders

Fay likes to be at the front, but I think it’s overrated. You can’t go and grab food or go to the toilet for fear of losing your spot. Plus, it’s hard to get in and out of the crowd.

At a gig at Wembley, we didn’t go to the toilet because Fay was by the barrier at the front. She deliberately doesn’t drink water so she can watch the show without having to go, but getting dehydrated is dangerous.

Fay is short and wants to get a good spot so she can see, but I’ve said she can go on my shoulders. She says getting to a concert late means we have to push through people to get a good position. We did this once and I managed to get us a space that was only 20 people from the front. Another time, we got in late and Fay still got to the front. Fay says she doesn’t like pushing past people and filling in the spaces of a crowd, but they are there to be filled.

I’m happy to get to a gig slightly early, so that Fay can see, but some people queue from the morning. I definitely don’t want to queue for hours before it’s even started.

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The defence: Fay

double quotation markI enjoy the support acts. They are part of the experience

What Odysseus calls low-quality bands are popular bands. He says good-quality bands are the ones that no one knows, which are easier to get into and don’t have crowds, but I don’t agree. Coldplay are my favourite, but he also enjoys them.

We have never been stuck in a crowd or unable to go to the toilet. We take turns to go to the toilet and get back to our spot easily enough.

Odysseus likes to arrive later and then try to squeeze past people, but it annoys them

Odysseus is 1.88 metres tall (6ft 2in), while I’m only 1.59 metres (5ft 2in). He can see everything regardless of where he is in the crowd. I’m the one affected by not being able to see. Odysseus will offer to put me on his shoulders but I wouldn’t be comfortable sitting there for more than a few minutes, so that doesn’t help me if the show is three hours long. We both love music and concerts, so who cares if we are a bit inconvenienced by adding three hours of queueing to our day? We get rewarded by being on the first or second row and can see the whole act.

Odysseus likes to arrive later and then try to squeeze past people, but it annoys them. He almost fought with a woman once to get me to the barrier. I appreciated it, but she’d probably queued for ages to get that spot. He will try to fix being late by pushing past people, but it makes me uncomfortable. He says: “It’s OK, it’s a concert, we can do that,” but it’s embarrassing. People need gaps to move freely and breathe.

We went to see Ne-yo and Akon recently and paid £500 for VIP tickets, but it was super-crowded and I couldn’t see anything. I’d rather just buy normal tickets and get there early. As for being dehydrated, I always set alarms to drink water as I forget, even if I’m not at a concert, so it’s no different from how I am in my everyday life.

I like everything about going to concerts. The waiting and warm-up acts are part of the experience, it’s not all about the main act. I want to keep arriving before the doors open. These events bring us so much joy what difference does a few more hours make if it means we secure a good spot?

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At 6ft 2in, Odysseus doesn’t understand the pain of being too short to see properly at concerts. He should be more sympathetic to Fay and get there early.
Sasha, 39

The case for the prosecution crumbles with Fay’s claim that “Odysseus almost fought with a woman once to get me to the barrier … she’d probably queued for ages to get that spot.” Dude, that is totally against the spirit and etiquette of attending a live music performance.
Ali, 42

I sympathise with Odysseus, but if Fay can’t see and wants to watch the support acts, he needs to suck it up and be there for her. Who knows, he may learn to enjoy the full experience as Fay does.
Sid, 63

Fay needs to be at the front so she can see, but if she goes with Odysseus, it means fellow shorties behind him can’t see! Does Fay have other friends who could be her gig buddy sometimes? Pushing to the front, as a tall person, is not going to make you popular!
Donna, 34

With the price of concert tickets these days, they’re lucky they get to so many gigs. Maybe that’s why Fay is so keen to experience the full show? If Odysseus has no interest in the support, why doesn’t Fay head in earlier for the warm-up acts, then Odysseus can follow later for the main show and find her at the front.
Clara, 33

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